Indian Summers
by Holz9364
Summary: Remus and Sirius have fond memories of Indian summers spent together in a small dingy flat in the middle of London. Remus/Sirius from before L&J's deaths to book7. AU!


**Friday Night Poker Night**

It was a hot July night in the middle of the Indian summer of 1980 as two men lay in bed together, sweaty and panting as the bed covers and pillows lay scattered on the floor around the bedroom. The window was open and rain was coming in sideways into the little bedroom in the tiny flat in the middle of London. The sound of traffic and the Thames flowed by loudly outside in the humid night and a very soft breeze blew into the room making the ragged curtains sway gently.

'We should leave,' the mousy haired man said, catching his breath and lying back on the creaky bed.

'I know,' the black haired man said, grinning at his partner, 'but it doesn't mean I want too.'

'We promised we'd go back to the hospital,' the mousy haired man sighed, taking in a deep breath of the hot humid air.

The dark haired man shook his head, 'and we will, just not yet,' he said, moving closer to the other man in the small bed and leaning his head against his chest. They were silent for a moment, just listening to the traffic outside, there was a whooshing noise and the mousy haired man jumped. The other man sighed softly, 'It's only a bird Remus.'

The mousy haired man, Remus, sighed in relief, 'I'm sorry, I'm on edge.'

'I understand,' the other man said and again there was a moment of silence until Remus spoke again.

'Sirius, don't you ever wonder if we won't make it through this war?'

The dark haired man, Sirius scoffed, he didn't look up at Remus, 'Of course we'll survive it Remus, all of us, and we'll all raise Harry together, once this is all over everything will be the way it was meant to be.'

'But what if it isn't Sirius?' Remus asked, sounding agitated, 'if something horrible happens do you really believe its just darkness? That there is nothing beyond it?'

Sirius sighed and finally adjusted his position in the bed to look up at Remus, 'I really don't think there is anything supernatural after death Remus and I don't think about it, I think about living, you need to stop worrying.'

Remus nodded, fooling himself that Sirius was right and that they would get through this war together, all of them, he forced a smile to his face thinking of the little boy they'd seen in the hospital hours before, 'come on, let's go see the golden family.'

Sirius grinned, jumping up and searching the floor for his boxers, 'Yeah,' he agreed, 'let's go see our Godson.'

Remus smiled back and searched the floor for his own clothes, just like that the conversation about life after death was over and it was not discussed again, at least not for many many years.

* * *

The night was light and hot, the air was humid and once more it was a July night in the middle of an Indian summer. They were inside the same small bedroom, with the exact same ragged curtains and the creaky bed and the window slightly open to hear the sound of the traffic and the Thames softly rushing by. The wind was causing the curtains to sway softly once more and once more the bedding and the occupants of the beds clothes were scattered around the room. They were both breathing heavily, it took longer to catch their breath this time, they were both older, sicker, more tired.

They lay together, as close as they could, their chests heaving as they caught their breath. Neither of them spoke as the traffic grew quieter as the night deepened. Somewhere in the distance an owl hooted, but there was still silence within the small bedroom.

'You shouldn't have come,' Remus said with a deep sigh, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.

'Did you not want me too?' Sirius asked, his long hair flowing over Remus's chest, his tattoos faded but his ribs less visible and his face less gaunt than the last time they had met.

There was silence and yet another sigh, Remus didn't speak for a good few minutes and Sirius dreaded the answer, but eventually it came, 'I wanted you to come,' he admitted, his voice breaking, 'I've wanted it since you escaped 2 years ago, but I was too scared to come looking for you, scared you weren't the man I knew, I was a coward and I'm ashamed.'

Sirius looked up at Remus in surprise, 'Remus...are you crying?'

Remus shook his head and tried to cover his tears up, but Sirius had already seen them, 'I have changed and I'm not the man you knew, but my feelings haven't changed, the thought of seeing you again was one of the things that got me through Azkaban.'

'I really am sorry.'

'So am I.'

Outside of the window there was the sound of rustling as the wind picked up in the bushes outside. Inside the room Sirius jumped violently at the sound and instinctively Remus's hand went to his back, he stroked it gently, 'don't worry Sirius,' he said soothingly, 'it's only the wind.'

'I'm sorry,' Sirius said, sounding slightly embarrassed, 'Azkaban has made me paranoid.'

'I know,' Remus said gently, not moving his hand from Sirius's back, there was another peaceful silence.

'We really ought to get back to Grimmauld Place,' Remus said, sighing just at the thought of going back and having to share Sirius with the others again, more to the point with Harry who wanted to spend as much time with his Godfather as he could.

'I know,' Sirius agreed, 'but not right now, and I want you to myself for as long as I can have you.'

'Dumbledore will realise you're gone and burst in here in a rage,' Remus said casually as Sirius chuckled lightly under his breath at the image, 'let him,' he said simply, his head yet again on Remus's chest.

Remus only smiled, closing his eyes, breathing in and taking in the moment, 'Sirius, did Azkaban change your perspective on life after death?'

Sirius sighed, thoughtfully and bitterly at the same time, he didn't look up to Remus as he replied, 'I'd like to believe that there is something, somewhere I can see Lily and James, but after Azkaban I find it hard to believe in a paradise land after death.'

Remus nodded, forgetting that Sirius couldn't see it, 'I believe in something Sirius, I think there must be more to death, something after it.'

'I hope so,' Sirius sighed sleepily, 'now sleep Remus; we have a busy day ahead of us.'

'I know,' Remus said, just as tired, 'goodnight Sirius.'

'Goodnight Remus.'

* * *

It was the hot, humid Indian summer of 1995 and there were only two figures in the deserted park as the sun set over Little Whinging. One figure was watching the other, unbeknownst to the figure swinging slowly back and forth. The invisible figure mumbled a charm and revealed himself to the boy on the swing who jumped and instinctively pulled his wand out and aimed it at the figure coming out of the shadows.

'Hello Harry,' Remus said casually, sitting down on the swing next to him. Harry's heart was racing from the surprise appearance but he sat back down and put his wand back in his pocket, 'what are you doing here?' he asked, too annoyed and upset to be pleased that he actually had wizard company for the first time in the summer.

'I wanted to talk to you, about Sirius, you haven't been coping well,' Remus said, if Harry was going to go straight to the point then he would too, after all he wasn't exactly on best form after the events at the ministry.

Harry shrugged, 'I've been coping fine,' he said moodily, 'I get on trains, I see the world, it makes me forget everything.'

'That isn't coping Harry,' Remus said gently, 'I know you're having a hard time accepting that he's gone, and trust me, I understand more than you know.'

Harry sighed, kicking the ground and looking down, not meeting Remus's eye, 'How do you cope with it?' he asked eventually, although he kept his gaze fixed firmly on the ground.

Remus had been expecting the question but that didn't make it any easier to answer, he sighed softly, 'I lost him once before,' he said, his voice breaking slightly although he'd tried hard to keep it steady for Harry's sake, 'I've been through it all before, I still hate the fact that I'll never see him again in this lifetime but I believe in something after death and I know I'll see him one day.'

Harry's sigh was deep, like it came from a man who'd had a very long, very bad life, not a young boy and it broke Remus's heart, but he didn't say anymore as he let Harry mull over his words. The boy spoke again, looking into Remus's eye for the first time, 'you really believe that there is something after death? That you'll see my parents and Sirius again?'

Remus nodded, a rueful smile on his face, 'Sirius and I had this conversation twice, you are much more similar than either of you ever knew,' he paused for a moment as a pang of pain shot through him, 'I believe I'll see them all again one day Harry, and that is why I am not afraid of death, I welcome it.'

Harry snorted and mumbled bitterly, 'you sound like Dumbledore.'

Remus smiled, a real smile this time, 'Yes,' he agreed, 'maybe I do.'

They sat in silence as the sky got darker; Harry kicked the ground thoughtfully as Remus swung back and forward gently on the swing. After what seemed like a long time Harry spoke again, 'You and Sirius were always more than friends,' it was a statement not a question, 'I saw it in the photos, even at my parents wedding there was something unusual about you both.'

Remus was thrown by Harry's realisation; he didn't think the boy would ever have figured out, but he always had been very observant and Remus shuddered when he thought of how many nights Harry must have spent staring at the photos in that album. He loved Harry, it wasn't official but to Remus he was his Godson and he couldn't lie to him so with a thoughtful sigh he told him the truth, 'Yes, Sirius and I were always more than friends, from the time when we were 17 years old until he died, I never loved anyone else.'

'_Ugh! Turn it off!'_

'_Hey, it's just getting to the good part!'_

_A group of people were sitting at a long white marble table in a large room with white walls and windows with golden frames. The view out of the windows was of a bright orange sky, it was an Indian summer and the humid heat was rising above the clouds to the invisible castle in the sky. This was the land that Remus had talked about, the paradise where the souls of good witches and wizards descended too. It was like Hogwarts, only everything was luxurious, here everyone was the same age, not the way they were when they died. They were at their perfect age in life, in-between 25 and 30, by that point a person was past their awkward years but they hadn't started to get old yet either._

_It was Friday night and in this particular room there was an ongoing poker game. In addition to the windows lighting the room with amazing colours, there was another large window in-between two of the smaller ones, but this was no ordinary window. It worked like a television, in its strange way; there were different 'channels' on this television. When a person died they didn't just get to go straight into luxury, they had an induction period, a settling in period and in that time they got to pick 5 people whose lives they wanted to keep up to date on, who they couldn't just forget about. Those 5 people could be channelled and through devices like these you could tune into what they were doing. Sirius's number one priority had been Remus, the man he'd loved his entire life, closely followed by his Godson. _

_At this particular poker night they had argued over what channel to watch and Sirius had lost because James and Lily had wanted to see how Harry was doing, but to his surprise and delight Remus's life happened to coincide with Harry's at that moment in time._

_Seated at the head of the table was Sirius, on one side Lily and James sat together, mesmerized by the image of their son on the screen, Sirius was just as enthralled, Remus didn't talk about him often so he enjoyed it when he did. Sitting opposite of Sirius was his little brother Regulus, who he had reconciled with when he'd met him up here in 'heaven'. At the other side of the table across from Lily and James sat Marlene McKinnon and her Husband Matthew._

'_What if he starts spilling juicy secrets about your sex life to my son?' James exclaimed in disgust and got hit over the head by Lily, 'oh hush James! It's exciting!'_

_They all turned back to the 'television' as Harry said he'd wondered about it for a while and Remus started to tell the tale that the others knew so well. All Remus managed to say was, 'it started in 7__th__ year when-'_

_At that point James took over, 'I was alone in the common room one evening and Sirius came in-'_

'_I'd just gone through a transformation and I was in pain-' Regulus added, smirking at his brother who was glaring at the room._

_Marlene grinned and said, 'Sirius sat with me all night to make sure I was okay and then-'_

'_Then I told him how I felt and how I'd felt that way for so long-' Matthew chirped in, chuckling under his breath as Sirius got more and more annoyed._

_Finally it fell to Lily who seemed to take pride in taking the mick out of Sirius although she didn't approve of it when the others took the mick out of Remus, 'and then Sirius said he felt the same but he'd been scared to tell me how he felt and then-'_

_Sirius glared around at them all, 'then,' he said finally, wanting to finish the story himself, 'then I kissed him and we were happy for the rest of our lives.'_

'_Until you got sent to Azkaban you mean,' Matthew said, causing Regulus to snigger, 'then died.'_

'_You guys don't understand romance,' Sirius grumbled, looking down at his hand and feeling his mood decrease even more, 'I fold,' he said, throwing his hand into the middle of the table._

'_Me too,' Regulus said dully chucking his cards away._

'_And me,' Matthew said as Marlene nodded, 'I fold too,' the couple both threw their cards into the middle of the table and the only two people left in the game were Lily and James._

_Lily narrowed her eyes, 'Scared of a little action James?' she teased and her Husband narrowed his eyes at the redhead, 'hah, you are talking to the King of Gryffindor Lils,' he said, 'all in.'_

_Sirius whistled and watched the couple closely as James finally decided his Wife wasn't bluffing and said, 'fold.'_

'_Hah!' Lily said, collecting her winnings and winking at her Husband who rolled his eyes, 'I'll win next Friday,' he promised her as Sirius scoffed, 'not if I beat you too it,' he said and with the game over everyone filed out of the room. When Sirius got back to his bedroom he lay in bed under his white silk sheets and watched Remus through the window opposite his bed as the man lay awake in the same bed they'd shared on so many occasions, both of them were thinking about the same thing, the last night they'd spent together in an Indian summer like this one._

* * *

_The night was darker and colder than usual in parallel Hogwarts and the mood wasn't quite as cheerful as the group in the Friday night poker game had just discovered that the great Albus Dumbledore had joined them and was in the induction/settling in process. They usually argued over the channel but tonight no one was in the mood for arguing so for once Sirius had won and they were watching 'the Remus channel'._

_The poker night group hadn't changed much, Amelia Bones had joined them, but other than that their group was exactly the same and Sirius still got teased just as much for always wanting to watch Remus even though most of the time the werewolf moped around his little London flat. The 'television' wasn't being watched much by the others, only Sirius was mesmerised by it and then something caught his attention and he shouted at the others to watch._

Sirius's little cousin, Tonk's as he had learned she liked to go by, had been chatting up Remus for a while now, but Sirius had thought it was harmless and that Remus wouldn't go for it, after all, he'd only ever loved Sirius.

At this point Bill Weasley had been injured by Greyback, Sirius had been vaguely aware that his fiancé didn't mind and loved him regardless, but it was something Tonk's said that caught Sirius's attention.

'You see! She still wants to marry him even though he's been bitten! She doesn't care!'

_Sirius grumbled, 'I'd have married Remus if it had been legal,' James snorted and Lily smiled at her friend, she patted his shoulder, 'that's sweet Sirius.'_

'It's different! Bill will not be a full werewolf, the case is completely-'

'But I don't care either! I don't care! I've told you a million times...'

'_Whoa, she is way too close for comfort,' Sirius complained, as Tonk's grabbed Remus's robes, he glared at his cousin through the medium of the screen knowing it would have no effect._

'_Oh calm down Sirius, I'm sure it isn't serious,' Lily said and James sniggered, 'yeah, she isn't Sirius; she's Tonk's, I think that's the problem honey.'_

_Lily glared at James and he shut up instantly, diverting his attention to the scene on the screen._

'And I've told you a million times, that I am too old for you, too poor...too dangerous...'

'_I think Sirius liked the dangerous aspect,' Marlene joked, winking at Sirius who was too annoyed and jealous to pay any attention to the teasing he was getting from the others._

'_I can't believe this,' Sirius muttered in annoyance as his cousin and HIS boyfriend had this semi-romantic exchange._

'I've said all along you're taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus.'

'I am not being ridiculous! Tonk's deserves somebody young and whole.'

'_Yes,' Sirius agreed, 'she does, and you deserve somebody old and broken, like me!'_

'_Sirius, if Remus has a chance to be happy again don't you want that for him?' Lily asked gently, trying to help out her friend._

'_No!' Sirius exclaimed, pouting, 'I don't want him to love anybody else; I'VE never loved anyone else.'_

_James rolled his eyes and shared an exasperated look with Lily, 'I doubt he'll love anyone else as much as he loved you.'_

'But she wants you! And after all Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.'

'This is...not the time to discuss it. Dumbledore is dead...'

'Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world.'

_Sirius couldn't believe what he was seeing but that seemed to be the end of the 'moment' between Remus and Tonk's and Sirius threw his cards into the middle, 'I fold and I'm out,' he said, standing and leaving the room, making his way through the whitewashed corridors as people gushed about Dumbledore and how they couldn't believe he was dead. Sirius didn't listen to any of it as he made his way blindly to his room, he didn't realise there were hot tears running down his face until he got into his quarters and looked in a pearly mirror. He threw himself onto his bed which wasn't anywhere near as comfy as the old broken thing he'd shared with Remus, he groaned, angry and frustrated, 'Remus,' he said simply and the 'window' on the wall lit up with Remus who was sitting in a Muggle pub drinking way too much alcohol, Sirius sighed, 'Remus, it's full moon soon, you know you shouldn't drink,' he said softly to the man on the screen, knowing that he couldn't hear him. Sirius stared at the screen with a sick kind of mesmerisation as Remus left the pub, staggered home and fell onto the bed that Sirius missed so much, he broke down in tears and Sirius followed suit, both men fell asleep with heavy hearts that night._

_The following weeks and months dragged by and Sirius isolated himself from the others, Dumbledore had joined them and had replaced Sirius at the poker nights until he decided to come back, but he wasn't sure when that would be. He spent most of his time moping around his bedroom being grumpy, hating the world and missing Remus at the same time as being angry with the man._

_Sirius pretty much had his Remus channel on constantly and his worst fears were confirmed one night when Remus (who was moping around his flat, as usual) got an unexpected visitor on his doorstep._

'Tonk's!'

'I've had enough of this!' Tonk's exclaimed, 'I like you Remus and I know you like me and I can't take this anymore!' she threw herself at him and kissed him and Sirius could see that Remus was surprised, he hoped he'd pull away but he didn't, he kissed Tonk's back fervently, with a passion that Sirius had only ever seen in Remus when HE was kissing him.

The kiss seemed to last forever, but when it broke Remus cleared his throat, 'Sit down,' he suggested and he sat down with Tonk's on his old moth-eaten couch.

'You do have feelings for me,' Tonk's said, smiling brightly at Remus who nodded, smiling very softly, 'yes, I do, I really do.'

'So why did you deny them for so long? And don't use the werewolf excuse, I know that's not it,' Tonk's said, trying to read Remus's face, trying to understand him.

Remus sighed deeply and rose from the couch, Tonk's was disappointed, she thought he was walking away from her again but he only made his way to the tiny kitchen and grabbed a glass of firewhiskey, 'do you want one?' he asked.

Tonk's nodded and Remus poured two glasses, he made his way back to the couch and handed her a glass, draining his in one go, he paused as if trying to think of how to word the sentence, 'Sirius,' he said finally.

_Sirius stopped moping for a moment, his ears practically perking up at his name, sometimes his dog like instincts surprised him, he moved closer to the window, sometimes he just wished he could reach through it and touch Remus, being this close but this far was killing him, metaphorically._

'Sirius?' Tonk's asked, frowning, asking Remus to elaborate without using any words.

Remus nodded, unsure how Tonk's would react to his 'tale', 'I was in love with Sirius, we were...together...'

'Oh...' Tonk's said quietly, her brow furrowing as she thought about this further, 'Oh!'

Remus blushed slightly and for a moment there was a silence. The windows were all open and a light breeze was coming in through them, causing the curtains to sway in a way that Remus associated with Sirius and long Indian summer nights.

'I guess it makes sense,' Tonk's said, and Remus was surprised to see that she was smiling, 'the signs were all there,' her smile was rueful, 'but you do have feelings for me...you aren't...'

She trailed off and Remus managed a small smile, 'Gay? No, as James used to say, Sirius-sexual.'

Tonk's chuckled under her breath and placed her hand on his arm, 'I'm sorry, I understand why it was so hard for you now, you were still getting over Sirius.'

'I still am,' Remus admitted, taking Tonk's hand, the metamorphmagus smiled, 'I can handle that,' she said, leaning over and kissing him once more, again Remus didn't pull away, he deepened the kiss and stood from the couch, pulling Tonk's with him.

The pink-haired witch took his hand and led him into the bedroom.

_Sirius could feel his heart breaking as he watched the scene unfold, it was blurry because he was watching it through the tears in his eyes. Tonk's and Remus were in the bedroom of Remus's flat, the window was open, the ragged curtains were swaying in the light wind, Tonk's pushed the bedding off of the bed, slowly the clothing began to come off, and slowly Sirius felt his heart being torn into pieces. The air outside was hot and humid; they were in the middle of yet another Indian summer._

_He had to close his eyes at certain parts, there were things he just couldn't watch, but he barely saw the worst part because his vision was so cloudy. Tonk's was on top of Remus on the bed that Remus had only ever before shared with Sirius, she was making noises but he was quiet, almost silent and when Sirius cleared his eyes enough to see what was going on he could make out the tears rolling down Remus's face. Again Sirius had to look away and when he looked back Tonk's was pulling the covers around herself and smiling as she made her way to the bathroom. Remus curled into a ball on the bed and whispered so quietly that Sirius almost missed it._

'_I'm sorry Sirius, I'm so sorry.'_

* * *

_Sirius had managed to pull himself out of his rut, but only when Lily, James, Regulus, Marlene, Matthew and Amelia combined their efforts to literally drag him from his room to poker night where he could learn to socialise again._

_They were trying to make sure Sirius didn't see any Remus or any Tonks so they were watching 'channel McGonagall' because Dumbledore was worried about her and wanted to see how she was doing. Sirius learned it had become a running theme in poker nights that Dumbledore had a crush on his depute head._

_However things didn't go quite to plan as McGonagall was going to an evening wedding, the wedding of none other than Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks. _

_When the others realised what was happening they suggested changing the channel but Sirius shook his head violently, 'No, leave it on!' he demanded._

'_Sirius,' Lily sighed, 'it probably isn't a good idea, you don't want to see-'_

'_See the man I love marry someone else?' Sirius asked bitterly, 'yeah I don't want to see it, but now that I have I can't stop watching it.'_

_Dumbledore sighed a deep, thoughtful sigh, 'let him watch, Sirius is right, he needs to see this.'_

_The others may have disagreed but dead or alive no one argued with Dumbledore so they watched the scene silently._

The wedding was small, the Church was tiny and there were very few people in the room. Tonk's parents were there of course, Andromeda and Ted, for Remus there were order members and close friends, Moody, Hagrid, Shacklebolt and McGonagall. There was no one else in the small church and the mood wasn't right, it wasn't as happy as the mood at a wedding should be, but then again they were in the middle of a war.

The ceremony was simple. The vows were not personal, they were standard, Remus and Tonks both said 'I do' and the rings were exchanged, there was a chaste kiss and scattered cheering as Remus and Tonks left the little church together. There wasn't any after party, or a honeymoon.

_Poker night ended on a dull note and by the time Sirius got back to his bedroom and tuned back into Remus's life the couple were lying in bed as a married couple, Tonks was asleep and Remus was absentmindedly stroking her bare back, he sighed deeply, looking up to the roof, for a moment it was as if he was really seeing Sirius, 'I hope you're right Sirius,' he whispered, 'I hope there is something up there.' He sighed deeply, looking at Tonks sleeping face; he kissed her on the cheek and closed his eyes, 'Goodnight Dora. Goodnight Sirius.'_

_Sirius sighed deeply, 'Goodnight Remus,' he said softly, tears rolling down his face as he shut his eyes and drifted into an uneasy sleep._

* * *

_There was a Friday night poker night that Sirius Black would never forget because it was the worst night of his life, or death as it were. They were on channel Remus even though Lily hated it because she insisted that it made Sirius snarky and bad tempered when it happened._

Remus was lying in bed with Tonks, they were decent this time, they weren't talking; they were just lying there when the conversation started.

'Remus, I have to tell you something important,' Tonks said, she looked nervous as Remus frowned and looked at her, 'what is it?' he asked, immediately worried.

There was no delay as Tonks blurted out, 'I'm pregnant!'

Both down in the real world and up high there was a long delay, a pregnant pause if you will and then...

'Pregnant? With a baby?'

'_PREGNANT?'_

_Lily was biting her lip anxiously as she moved over to Sirius, putting her arm around him and holding him tightly, 'Sirius, I'm sorry.'_

'_Pregnant,' Sirius repeated, shaking his head, 'but HOW could that happen?'_

'_Well Sirius,' James said, 'when a man loves a woman very much he puts his-'_

'_James!' Lily hissed with a glare, 'not now!' _

_Even James understood the seriousness of the situation and he stopped speaking and everyone else in the room fell silent, even Dumbledore didn't seem to know what to say._

'Yes with a baby!' Tonks exclaimed, not sure how to feel, 'are you mad?'

Remus shook his head, standing up from bed and shaking his head again vigorously, 'I can't be a Father, I can't pass my curse onto a child, I can't...no...I can't do this, I can't.'

'Remus! Remus! Calm down!' Tonks shouted, slapping Remus to stop him from freaking out.

'Ow!' Remus said, coming back to the real world, he swallowed and looked at his Wife, 'I know you're scared Remus and I am too, but this is going to be okay, you're going to be an excellent Father, we're going to be good parents, okay?'

'Okay,' Remus said, sitting back down on the bed with a sigh, it was heavy but Tonks took it for a relieved sigh and she fell asleep very quickly that night.

_Sirius watched, his heart breaking even more than he thought possible as he watched Remus lying in bed crying himself to sleep while his pregnant Wife slept in the bed next to him in the tiny, dingy flat that Tonks hated so much but Sirius loved with everything he had._

_Sirius watched over the weeks as Tonks convinced Remus to sell the flat and move into a new bungalow in a nicer area, for the baby. Remus agreed, but it was reluctant, after Tonks had moved everything out Remus returned one last time to look around. It was ironic really that he returned on a day very similar to the day he'd moved in, Sirius remembered that day, he'd helped, they had practically lived together although Sirius did have his own place, he preferred the tiny dirty flat Remus kept, he had never been able to understand why. It was the middle of September and it was cold outside, the inside was dingy and damp and it looked horrible but when he'd moved in it had been his new start and the hot Indian summers with Sirius in his bed and in his arms had made up for the horrible cold winters, or so he'd always said. Sirius and Remus both cried as Remus left the flat for the last time, it felt like the moment when the man finally gave up on Sirius and truly moved on and Sirius couldn't bear to see it._

* * *

_Sirius tried to get over Remus, but getting over the only person you'd loved, especially when you'd loved that person for so long, wasn't easy to do. He continued going to poker nights and the group had expanded yet again. In addition to Sirius, Lily, James, Regulus, Marlene, Matthew, Amelia and Albus their newest member was Moody, who always won because his magical eye could see through the cards._

_It was hard to enjoy these nights like they had before with the war raging on and new arrivals being so large in number. On this particular Friday James and Lily had wanted to watch Harry and check how he was doing, Sirius hadn't watched Remus for a while now, not since the man left the flat that had housed so many good memories for them both. However, unluckily for Sirius, on this occasion Remus's life and Harry's coincided once again._

Someone was coming into Grimmauld Place where Harry was hiding, everyone was watching in horror, the jinx broke and Sirius recognised Remus's voice. Remus raised his arms and identified himself, 'Hold your fire, it's me, Remus!'

'Oh Thank goodness,' Hermione said in relief as she and Ron lowered their wands.

'Show yourself!' Harry called.

'_Good boy Harry,' Lily said softly and James nodded, 'he's right to be cautious.'_

_Sirius was watching in horror, shock and something else the others couldn't interpret._

Remus and the trio exchanged a few words; Sirius didn't take much of it in. Remus looked even worse than the last time he'd seen him, and he felt his heart leap horribly.

The group made their way into the kitchen and drank butterbeer together, they talked about the wedding and how the trio had ended up at Grimmauld Place. Remus informed the trio that there were no deaths but that Tonks family had been tortured with the Cruciatus. They also talked of how Voldemort had overthrown the ministry.

'_This is horrible,' Marlene said sadly, the others echoed this sadness with nods._

'_It's exactly like last time,' Lily said as she leant into James' embrace. Sirius was so saddened and worried for Harry that he stopped moping about his own situation with Remus for a moment. _

_They also learned that everyone had to go to Hogwarts now and students had to have 'blood status' by the ministry to be able to attend the school. They all echoed that it was disgusting, and that it was even worse than the first time._

_Remus then asked Harry about the mission he'd gotten from Dumbledore, everyone up high understood, they regularly watched 'Harry channel' thanks to Lily and James. Remus even said he would go with them and help them which shocked those up high._

'What about Tonks?' Hermione asked, the question the dead Marauders were all thinking, even Sirius had to admit that it had crossed his mind.

'What about her?' Remus asked; his voice almost cold and dead.

'Well, you're married. How does she feel about you going away with us?' Hermione asked, yet again, Lily and Marlene at least echoed these thoughts.

'Tonks will be perfectly safe, she'll be at her parents' house,' Remus said.

_Again Sirius got the impression that Remus had stopped loving Tonks, if he ever had at all, he seemed to have grown so cold and numb and Sirius wondered why. Did he sense that Sirius was no longer looking out for him? Watching over him?_

'Remus, is everything alright...you know between you and-'

'Everything is fine thank you,' Remus said on a note of finality, 'Tonks is going to have a baby.'

'Oh how wonderful!' Hermione said cheerfully.

'Excellent!' Ron agreed with a smile.

'Congratulations,' Harry said, apparently the only one of the three to see the coldness and the facade that Remus had put up.

'_Can't the others see that Remus isn't happy?' Marlene asked sadly and Matthew shook his head, Sirius was silent._

Remus smiled, but it was unbelievably fake, 'So...do you accept my offer? Will 3 become 4? I cannot believe that Dumbledore would have disapproved, he appointed me your Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, after all. And I must tell you that I believe we are facing magic many of us have never encountered or imagined.'

Harry was shocked and surprised by Remus's behaviour, 'Just-just to be clear, you want to leave Tonks at her parents' house and come away with us?'

'_I can't believe this!' Lily exclaimed hotly, 'Remus isn't this man, he wouldn't do this, why is he doing this?'_

'_Because he doesn't love her,' James said simply, causing Lily to gasp but Sirius frowned, catching James eye and speaking up, 'what do you mean?'_

'_Sirius, it has been clear since the wedding, before then even that Tonks is second best to Remus, second best to you, he can't accept the fact she's pregnant, he realises he's made a mistake.'_

'_Still,' Lily said, sad at the scene, 'I've never seen him so cold.'_

'_I have,' Sirius and James said at the same time, saying no more and looking back to the 'window.'_

'She'll be perfectly safe there, they'll look after her,' Remus said, he sounded almost indifferent, 'Harry, I'm sure James would have wanted me to stick with you.'

'_No I wouldn't!' James exclaimed angrily and Lily grabbed his hand for some semblance of comfort, 'how can Remus say that or even think that?' he asked hotly, 'he should know I would rather he'd be with HIS child than mine!'_

'_He knows sweetie,' Lily said gently, 'he's not in a stable state of mind right now, that is very obvious, calm down.'_

'Well, I'm not. I'm pretty sure my Father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking with your own kid actually,' Harry said, angry and disappointed in the father figure he'd found in Remus. The werewolves face drained of colour.

'_Exactly Harry!' James said loudly, Dumbledore smiled weakly and even Sirius would have been amused under any other circumstances._

'You don't understand,' Remus said stiffly.

'Explain then,' Harry demanded.

'I-I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgement and I have regretted it very much ever since.'

'_I knew it,' Sirius said quietly, he wasn't sure whether he was sad for Remus or happy, 'he still loves me.'_

'_Oh Sirius,' Lily said, standing up, making her way over to Sirius and sitting on his lap to hug him, 'I knew he did, I told you he did.'_

_James smiled ruefully at his Wife and his best friend, Sirius had a great time for the first little while up in heaven Hogwarts but then he'd started to miss Remus and it had been extremely hard for him._

'_I don't know why he married her,' Sirius sighed and Lily nodded, hugging Sirius tighter, 'no, neither do I.'_

'I see. So you're just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?' Harry asked, glaring at the older man.

Remus jumped up, knocking his chair back, 'Don't you understand what I've done to my Wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I made her an outcast!' Remus kicked the chair in a rare fit of rage, 'You have only ever seen me amongst the Order or under Dumbledore's protection at Hogwarts! You don't know how most of the wizarding world sees creatures like me! When they know of my affliction, they can barely talk to me! Don't you see what I've done? Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage, what parents want their only daughter to marry a werewolf? And the child – the child, my kind don't usually breed! I'm convinced of it- how can I forgive myself, when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child? And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a Father of whom it must always be ashamed!'

'_He should have thought of all of this before he married her!' Lily exclaimed in a fit of rage._

'_He's being such an asshole!' Marlene agreed and James nodded fervently, 'God Remus, stop being such an asshole!'_

'_He was never like this when you were alive,' Dumbledore said to Sirius, 'he was never cold, in fact he was at his happiest.'_

_Sirius managed to smile at that fact, he was glad to know he'd made Remus happier than anyone else ever had, but he wished that Remus had never married Tonks, all it had brought him was misery._

'Remus! Don't say that! How can any child be ashamed of you?' A tearful Hermione asked.

'Oh I don't know Hermione,' Harry said angrily and bitterly, 'I'd be pretty ashamed of him,' he stood and pulled himself up to full height, surprising Remus, 'if the new regime thinks Muggle-borns are bad, what will they do to a half-werewolf who's Father is in the Order? My Father died trying to protect my Mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?'

'_Go Harry!' James cheered, 'you tell asshole Remus!'_

'_He's just moody cause he misses all the hot sex with Sirius!' Matthew jeered and Sirius barked out a loud laugh, he hadn't done that in a while._

'_You tell him Harry!' Lily said, whooping for her son, the others laughed at the usually conservative woman's behaviour._

'How-How dare you?' Remus hissed angrily, 'this is not about a desire for-danger or personal glory-how dare you suggest a-'

'I think you're feeling a bit of a daredevil,' Harry said coldly, 'you fancy stepping into Sirius' shoes-'

'_Oh dear!' Lily narrated, 'bringing up Sirius probably isn't a great idea.'_

'_Harry is right though,' James said, 'he does want to step into Sirius's shoes, he wants adventure with no consequences._

'_He lost the right to that when he married Tonks and started a family,' Dumbledore said wisely and Moody grunted his agreement as he won for the 8__th__ time that night, everyone was watching the scene in the window and as a result they weren't spending enough time looking at the game so Moody kept reading the cards._

'Harry, no!' Hermione called.

'I'd never have believed this. The man who taught me to fight dementors-a coward!'

Remus actually drew his wand on Harry and threw Harry backwards across the room, the boy slammed into the wall and slid to the floor and Remus stormed from the room.

'_I can't believe that man was Remus Lupin,' Lily said after a moment of silence, Marlene and Matthew echoed this thought with nods but Sirius and James shared a meaningful glance._

'_I can,' Sirius said, 'bear in mind I saw much more of Remus than you Lily although you were friends. You would not believe it but Remus has a foul temper and a terrible habit of turning into ice when he's angry.'_

'_Trust me, it's true,' James said, 'it's rare it comes out, but when it does,' he whistled and Sirius nodded, remembering the odd occasions when Remus had gotten angry or cold. Angry he had been able to deal with, it had been fixed with hot sex, but cold chilled him to the bone and showed him a man he barely recognised._

* * *

_The months passed by slowly, the war raged on below and poker nights had changed. There was less poker and more watching 'channel Harry' as he progressed with horcruxes and the like. Sirius only watched Remus on odd occasions when he was alone in his room and felt lonely, sooner than it should have May arrived and they were all gathered in a small room to watch the epic final battle, the battle of Hogwarts, it was tense as they watched the 'windows'. There were 2, one showing Harry and one showing Remus, they didn't intersect much, the entire groups eyes flashed between both windows. On the other side of the room Dumbledore was watching a 3__rd__ window, he was watching none other than Severus Snape and despite herself Lily occasionally glanced over at this window._

_Things seemed to go well, but then the inevitable happened. The deaths began and the first person of the 3 on their screens to get hit was Remus. They watched in silent horror as he was hit with the killing curse and fell to the ground, cold and dead. They hadn't expected it; they had expected him to survive through the war. _

_Sirius was in shock, he didn't know whether to be sad that Remus was going to miss his child growing up or happy that he would get to be with the only man he'd ever loved once more. He was just stunned and his initial thought was to run to the office and wait for Remus but he knew that would be stupid because processing alone took at least an hour then there was about a 5 hour settling in period so he knew he'd just be sitting around. At least here he would know how Harry was so he stayed and watched as Harry found Remus's body, the screen which they'd watched Remus on was blank because Remus as a person was no more, only his soul remained. Harry left the great hall then, and made his way to the shrieking shack, it was then that his and Severus's lives coincided just as Severus died. Everyone ended up watching the exchange as they realised Severus wasn't actually the bad guy, he WAS a bad guy but he wasn't THE bad guy._

_Harry made his way to Dumbledore's office and went into the pensieve, as they saw what he saw they saw the memories, Lily watched with a fond look in her eyes and Dumbledore with a smile. Sirius and James gaped as the scenes unfolded, Regulus found it just as hard to believe._

_Once Harry realised he had to die Lily broke down into tears and James had to soothe her, 'Lily, its okay, if he really does die at least he'll be with us again, he'd be happy here.'_

'_I know,' Lily sobbed, 'but he's still so young.'_

'_He knows he must die,' Dumbledore said wisely, 'therefore he should not die, he should wake up, the part of Voldemorts soul inside him should die, not Harry himself.'_

_Lily and James were still worried sick as Harry made his way into the forest, he was hit with the killing curse and the screen went black, everyone in the room was crying, even Sirius, and Dumbledore's eyes were glassy. They were sure it was over but then the screen buzzed back to life and the forest came back into view. They watched in amazement as it all unfolded, the final battle in the great hall took place, the air was tense in 'heaven', Lily was in the middle of James and Sirius, holding one of their hands in each of her hands, squeezing them tightly. James would have joked about the last time this happened being when Harry was born if he wasn't so worried about his son's welfare.'_

_When Harry won and Voldemort fell everyone cheered, even Sirius because Harry was okay and Voldemort was dead, but then he excused himself and he ran. He ran all the way through 'Hogwarts' then down through the 'grounds' which were on fluffy clouds, he ran all the way to the large golden gates. He burst through the door into the accounting office and hurried to the desk where several wizards were bustling around, 'Can I help you Sir?'_

'_I need to know about somebody, Remus Lupin, what can you tell me?'_

_The guard sighed, looking at a checklist with far too many names on it, 'He's still in transition sir.'_

'_How long will it take until I can see him?' Sirius asked, extremely agitated._

'_At least 3 hours sir, it's a busy night,' the guard said politely._

'_3 hours!' Sirius shouted, 'I NEED to see him now! I cannot wait 3 hours!'_

'_Sir, I am afraid there is no other option, if you'd please just take a seat,' the guard tried to reason with Sirius, 'NO! I WILL NOT TAKE A SEAT I NEED TO SEE REMUS!'_

_At that point James and Lily burst through the door just as Sirius fell in a crying heap to the floor. Lily dropped to her knees next to him and hugged him tightly, from the other side James did the same as Sirius's body shook with sobs. It had finally become too much for him, nobody bothered the trio as they sat there on the floor like that, eventually they managed to move Sirius to a seat and stop his tears and sobs, after that Sirius just sat there silently, his hand clenched tightly in Lily's. Several people passed through the waiting room including Colin Creevey and Fred Weasley. Sirius didn't say a word until 4 hours later when the door swung open and Remus Lupin walked in, looking younger and fresher than ever, his face was free of scars and stubble and his eyes widened when he saw Sirius waiting for him with a tearstained face, the sight of Lily and James next to him only heightened his shock._

_Sirius ran to Remus and grabbed him with such force he was nearly knocked off of his feet, before he knew what had hit him Remus was being kissed by Sirius and he had no intentions to stop this from happening. He kissed Sirius back with just as much passion and fervour as he always had, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around Sirius's waist .When both men pulled away from each other their faces were stained with tears._

_It was then that Sirius punched Remus._

'_What was that for?!' Remus asked in shock._

'_For marrying someone! For having a kid! For moving on!' Sirius shouted, punctuating each sentence with a punch to Remus's arm._

'_I didn't move on! I never stopped loving you! Tonks knew that, she knew she was 2__nd__ best, Sirius, I never stopped loving you,' Remus sighed, kissing Sirius once more and this time not stopping for air until he absolutely couldn't breathe. From their seats nearby James and Lily shared large grins, it felt like the world had put itself right again._

_Nobody heard the door open..._

'_Wow! Okay, so definitely still in love with Sirius.'_

_Remus and Sirius broke apart and Remus blushed bright red, 'Tonks! No...But Teddy...he...'_

'_I'm sorry,' Tonks said, hugging Remus then blushing and pulling back with an embarrassed, 'oh!' Remus's blush increased as he mumbled, 'not seen Sirius in 2 years.'_

'_Teddy will be okay,' Tonks said, albeit sadly, 'he has my Mother, and Harry, and he'll grow up knowing we died for a good cause, to make the world a better place for him to live in.'_

_Remus nodded, sighing deeply, 'So what happens now?' he asked, looking between Tonks and Sirius, his Wife and the man he'd loved for almost all of his life._

'_Now you finally get your happily ever after,' Tonks said, her smile didn't seem forced, she'd always known she was second best and she'd always known this day might come if there really was a higher plane, and now this was proof that there was._

'_But Tonks, you're my Wife,' Remus said, not quite understanding._

_Tonks smiled a little sadly, 'Yes but you never really loved me, not like you loved Sirius. You always regretted marrying me.'_

_Remus didn't deny this because he knew it was true, he merely said he was sorry and kissed Sirius one last time before he was led away for the week long induction/settling in period._

* * *

_When Remus emerged from the room he'd spent the last week in he grinned when he saw Sirius pacing outside in the waiting room bouncing on the balls of his feet, he grinned broadly when he saw Remus, bounding over to him and kissing him the same way he had when he had first walked out into the waiting room the week before._

'_I have a surprise for you,' Sirius said with a grin, grabbing Remus by the hand and dragging him out of the building into the fluffy grounds, Remus laughed as he ran to keep up with Sirius. _

_Later that night they found themselves in a replica of the flat they'd spent so many nights in and to perfect the moment the windows were open, there was no breeze, but the sun was setting and the air was humid, it was the beginning a hot Indian summer down below and up above Remus and Sirius lay together, chests heaving, sweat sparkling on their bodies as they cherished a moment they never thought that they would have again. _

_The sheets were different, they were made of silk, but they were still on the floor along with both of the men's clothes, but the bed was the same old creaky thing, the same comfy bed, the room was small and dingy, but it was perfect. Sirius missed the traffic and the owls hooting and the sound of the Thames flowing, but he could live without the simple things now that he had the most important thing in his arms, Remus._

_The mousy haired Marauder sighed with contentment, 'Sirius, do you believe in something after death?' he asked, grinning up at the man._

_Sirius smiled thoughtfully, 'yes Remus, I believe in a perfect paradise after death,' he said, leaning down to kiss Remus gently on the lips._

_Remus smiled fondly at Sirius, 'Do you know what Sirius, I believe in exactly the same thing.'_

_Their laughter floated out of the window and was lost in the hot night air, floating away into the distance. From that day forward every single hot Indian summer was spent in bed with the sheets thrown carelessly on the floor and the smell of sweat mingling with the laughter of two men who had finally found their place in time._

_THE END!_

**_A/N: Really hope you enjoyed it, so nervous for reviews! If there are any big mistakes I'm sorry but they won't be getting changed as I'm busy trying to finish 8th Year! I started this at midnight and finished it at 6am so sorry if it seriously sucks, personally I quite like it! _**


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